Boulevard of Fantasies : Part 4

Bobu Didi, tell me.. why do i follow my heart sometimes and sometimes what my brain says?

Sarah: What? (In disbelief at the words that fell on her ears. Was that the after-effect of PD class? She's not buying that for sure)

Bobu: Hahaha. I mean, like Didu i really enjoy drawing abstract things in my elementary drawing class but it's almost impossible to make that my career no? I mean imagine drawing and photography melange' as a career compared to engineering, MBA and architecture.

Sarah to herself: Is it that bad? (I still don't know what to do with my life.. I find that to be the most exciting part!)She chuckled silently.

I mean, itni jaldi, how do they decide Didi.. I am in the 8th grade and they have decided what they want to do. Then, what do i do? Follow my brain which tells me to do engineering and MBA or should i paint the town red?, laughed Bobu

His intellect and curiousity frustrated me. Nauseated that i was, Questioning-Thinking-Reasoning, it was the last thing on my mind. But it was Sarah’s turn to answer. I waited. She answered

Sarah: See Bobu – There are a lot of people in the world living a lot of lives. Living lives beyond their own understanding of it. Living in a manner that they’ve been conditioned to live in. And they spend their entire lives living that way. The kinds who say – My Daddy told me this when I was a kid, so this is what it is. “No challenging the ideologies” Syndrome is what these people suffer from.

Bobu: But that’s how ethics, culture, heritage and our history comes to us no Didi. Our ancestors pass these to us which preserve our past no?

Sarah: Very true. But history isn’t absolute. Nothing is. Maybe 3 angles of a triangle = 180 degrees is. Beyond that, I’ll only depend on my ability to question, think and reason!

In the existentialist corner of the Marine Drive Boulevard, I had my own set of questions...

Question : I stick my finger into existence – it smells of nothing.
Where am I? What is this thing called the world?
Who is it who has lured me into the thing, and now leaves me here?
Who am I? How did I come into the world? Why was I not consulted?

Sarah: Bobu, I don’t know how to correctly respond to your question of Heart v/s Mind. A Career Guidance Psychologist could help you with Aptitude tests, Psychometric Analysis – the works.

Though she wondered: How can they decide for a person who’s spent a minimum of 14-15 years with himself/herself by spending 20 minutes with him/her.

Bobu: But Didi, what would you do? Heart or Brain

Sarah: Bryan, Do you really want to listen to all of this? I’ll just go on with my theory of ‘The Sarah Life’… you’ll get bored. Trust Me.

Bobu: Shut up Dids. Shoot. I love it. It’s better than my good for nothing Personality Development Class with Himesh Reshamiya lovers.

Phattak! – He got one on his back for abusing Him. Himesh. - Apologies for the exaggeration

And there I was – listening to Child Prodigy and Her – discussing things which I thought would cause greying of my grey cells. For them it was …. ummm.. Life. Period.


Sarah hummed -

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

Sarah answered –

Bobu, I’ve only known one way to live. When I was chottu , I’d love to pen thoughts, ideas, expressions and anything that I could observe and form a personal interpretation.
And that was my omen to a creative career. That’s about it. I know nothing beyond.

For her, the sky was never blue because her mind’s eye saw more.


THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLED

You know Bryan, I’ve always believed in opting the Road Less Travelled. That road may not necessarily be rebellious or anti-culture,society. The Road Less Travelled implies a road that is your own. Arising out of choices that are personal to you. Because few people tread a road that defines what they believe in/stand for, I call it The Road Less Travelled. And that is the job of the heart. The heart is true to you. Infact, the dilemmas in our lives are caused by the brain playing truant. The brain’s job is to maximize your heart’s decision. Nothing else. For example – YOU WISH TO MAKE AN ABSTRACT PAINTING is what your heart will tell you. The brain will tell you how, by using memory, observation and by processing information, you can make that design the best in the world. The Heart looks at the Bigger Picture. Let the brain offer options to you and let your heart decide.

The Men who attained Immortality never aspired to be immortal, she further tells Bobu. They were the men who were so consumed by their passion and work that Immortality came as a pleasant aftermath.

And I say that life is indeed darkness save when there is urge,
And all urge is blind save when there is knowledge
And all knowledge is vain save when there is work
And all work is empty, save when there is love;
And when you work with love you bind yourself to yourself, and to one another, and to God – Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

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Aha! – So Sista? Is there God, asks Mr.Bobu aka psyched-out teenager aka pest aka saviour


The gunpowder catches fire in an instant, while much time is needed to set fire to the coal, I told my charcoaled self. “Failed spirits shall rise” – Sarah are you listening?

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone


BROKEN DREAM



Sarah: Is there God?

She thinks. But not for long. Because she knows. She knows…

Sarah: I could give you clichéd answers like God is everywhere, omnipresent (matlab – everywhere again) the usual… but to be honest Bobu I do not have a different answer. The more the things I see God in – the more I enjoy life. I see God when I wake up to find myself breathing normal, to find my five-senses intact, and to find myself alive. I see God in water, in the toothbrush against my teeth, in the toothpaste, in Mommy, in Daddy. I see God in you, Bobu, she grinned. He is everywhere and yet nowhere. Bobu, men have spent lives searching, looking for him. They meditate, they pray, they offer sacrifice. History and our present is testimony. Alas! He is here. In the tides of the Arabian Sea, in the humid May air, in that beggar’s sigh, in that rich man’s arrogance – he is in all forms, in all his eccentricities. He is in our moods, our passions, our joys and sorrows. He is in objects- inanimate. He is in lives unfulfilled. He is in the complete and the incomplete. You need to call him, acknowledge him and Thank him. When? Subconsciously, at every moment of your life. And yes, the thankyou should come, like all other things, from the bottom of your heart.


The Sigh of the Beggar - Sarah's God

Bobu: Whoa Didi! That was killuh!... I mean you did sound 93 years, 7 months and 18 days. Unbelievable. You’re truly my elder-older … hehe .. sister-Sarah Dids… hahaha

Bobu was a ruthless dog. Bitch. This girl just answered the most complex question that has ever tormented this planet with the ease of a Socrates, Jesus or The Buddha.. but Mr. Bobu aka dog aka bitch has to spoil the show… Well he may be some child prodigy for all I care, but how could he steam-roll her profound thoughts so effortlessly?

Was I possessive? Yeah, a lil’. Why? ….Uhmmm… No idea…But that woman was unflustered. Such was she.

Sarah: See I bored you to death Bobu with “The Sarah Life”… but that’s me! Your funny ole sistuh!

Bobu: Didi .. You know what.. I loved every bit of it.. And you know what – I’m going to flaunt these fundas at my Personality Development Class tomorrow. They’l be shocked to see how deep my thinking is!

Sarah: Idiot! Remember – “Your own understanding”. You are behaving like our Education System. Read.Remember.Reproduce.Remove-Read New.Remove Old Completely.Remember New.Reproduce New. Remove New-Repeat Process till Graduation to Succeed.

Bobu: Oh Yeah! Shucks… ;)
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That sultry summer evening at Marine Drive (yes, dusk to evening) came to an end. And so did the other side of Sarah Dias. What followed as they walked past the iron-girdles outside Churchgate Station was Sarah’s journey home with a tired Bryan.
I followed them discreetly. I wanted more of her. I was addicted to her, my nicotine. Could perfect women exist? 36-24-36 yeah … but I was beyond aesthetic perfection. Something I never experienced. She was a rare blend. Of Beauty and Brains – Yes. But she was way beyond Beauty Contest taglines…


Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test
and don't ask why.

It's not a question
but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.


Churchgate Station

















P.S. – To be continued… alas! the last in my series… I will move back to prose as a medium to convey Boulevard Part 5. The language used in 4 has been designed to keep Bobu’s age and intellect (high IQ dude) in mind. So it’s a blend of simple sentences conveying complex meaning albeit without the heavy vocabulary. (Yeah – I use the Thesaurus liberally;) Awaiting feedback. From the bottom of your heart:)