Wednesday, 29 October, 2008

Bulleted List

  • If you're a Wonderwall fan - listen to this outstanding version of the song.
  • Sometimes, I've found it more difficult to say No to people not close to me. Clearly, it shouldn't be that way. But ironically, it has.
  • My physical health is intricately linked to my mental health. Just like everyone else's. Only now, I really want to work on my physical health - at both the physical and the mental level.
  • Why do I realize the worth of people when they are not around me?
  • I wish to be many things in life. But what I wish to be foremost is - An Entrepreneur. If at all I can become more things, i'd like to be a writer, paraglider, capoerista, photographer, musician, film director. But first and foremost - an entrepreneur.
  • There were many instances when I couldn't choose between the many things I wanted to be. Poorva asked me, "What do you want to be known as?". Her age (being 73 that she is and her experiences in life) came to my rescue. That's when I realized that I wanted to be an entrepreneur first and everything else, later.
  • I start dancing each time I listen to "Jaane Kyun" from Dostana
  • Changing the positioning of my blog from a Writing Playground to a Thought Playground is comforting though I clearly don't want it to become a random rant space. This one entry (hopefully the only one) is an exception. When I have the luxury of time I will use this blessed service to hone my writing skill.
  • My respect for Mr. Amitabh Bachchan increases multifold with each new entry on his blog. I strongly recommend a read. The man's dedication, commitment to his art, energy, wisdom, intelligence are simply awe-inspiring.
  • I'd also like to thank the 3 P's on my blog - Poorva, Peru and Pratik (3 of the loveliest girls i've known) for having the kind heart to stay with me on the blog for close to three years now.
  • Also, i'd like to extend my thank yous to Varun Prasad whose comments have been forever encouraging and Mudra Mehta who, inspite of being an extremely talented writer, grammarian, star-blogger and a Tashan-lover, has given my blog some of her valuable time.
  • There are a whole lot of other people who have commented under pressure (not the pot one). To them also, I am grateful. Grateful because they chose the right kind of pressure to comment on my blog.
  • @ Poorva, Peru and Pratik - I will dedicate more post space to you'll in the near future. Please don't stop commenting. You'll won't na? Promise?
  • I love you all.
  • Ok. Now my entry is increasingly taking a "written in a drunken stupor" shape.
  • So, Saal Mubarak! :D

Wednesday, 22 October, 2008

What are you doing?

Every once in a while a 'what the fuck are you doing with your life?' kind of question pops up from nowhere and especially when I am imagining Monica Bellucci in various stages of undress. My mind, which has no sense of priorities, subtly moves to that dreaded question. Leaving her dress on the floor and my imagined self screaming "Hey, what the fuck do you think you're doing by calling it a day at this utopian moment"? - my mind dances over my insecurities.

Today was one of those days. The question though was more retrospective in nature. It asked me, 'What the fuck have you done in your life?'. *Damn it!* After 14 minutes of "Can I get Monica back! umm.. err.. I'll be done real soon!... Please!!!...C'mmon it's MONICA BELLUCCI you celibate fucker!" I gave up. The question took over. After beating around the bush for a while, the truth basked in its naked glory. Naked Truth or Naked Monica Bellucci? Who would you choose?

For me, it was a day when I finally accepted a certain truth.

The truth that there is an obvious disparity between knowing the knowledge and living it. That knowing how to have sex and having sex are two very different things. I realized that in my 22 years, out of the umpteen thousand things I have read, known and thought to have believed - my only growth has been in height and weight, the latter also being negligible. I've read books on Zen Buddhism, parts of the Gita, Patanjali's Yoga Sutras, so many Robin Sharma's pop self-helps ... Infact, I've read bits of The Secret too *in a fit of desperation* ...

But little did I realize that for self help to actually work, you have to help your self. And honestly man, knowing one's self is not rocket science. It simply needs the honesty and earnestness to look at yourself for what you truly are. A dash of ruthlessness can help if you are subconsciously biased to yourself. *Eg : Me*

With objectivity must come acknowledgment and then acceptance. And then the willingness to change the unwanted. Damn, see I am writing like the way they do in those books. Digression :- Sincerely, some reputed self-help practitioners and preachers make the entire process so serious and challenging that it becomes a put-off. And that's true. Most books make self-awareness sombre business meant for the world weary. Isn't it?

And when you only know the knowledge but are not living it, you come across as preachy and philosophical too with mere clutter and little clarity. And I realise how this information overload has taken a toll on my mind. My spontaneity is not spontaneous. I write lines like the last one. And most importantly, Monica Bellucci has begun to lose interest in me.

So, ladies and gentlemen my parting wisdom to you is :

It's a hundred times more beneficial to live the little you know & believe in. Jee haan! Sachi! Anyway, you tell me :

What are you doing?

P.S. - The 'Knowing how to and having Sex' line in Para 3 was just an example to elucidate my point. It certainly wasn't the subject of my introspection. Jee haan! Sachi!

My Daily Bath

Have you seen the new Limca ad? Delightful! Isn't it? And its airing could'nt have been timed any better. Unrelenting tropical heat. Sundry afternoons. And amidst this grimy sweat comes a hauntingly refreshing melody... I'm drawn each time it plays.

Singer kaun hai yaar? Kya awaaz hai!

Tuesday, 21 October, 2008

Raj-u Ban Ja Gentleman!

It's a charming morning. The October sun is shamelessly flamboyant and the birds are at their chirpy best. Is it mating season? A little pigeon comes by my pseudo balcony to wish me good morning. He seems well fed. By the way, how does one determine a pigeon's gender?

And guess what! The mugful of hot water and lemon creates magic on the pot. The yellow background on my blog makes me nostalgic about my lil' trip to wonderland. And ironically it's titled Sticky Notes. For once it wasn't :)

Aah, What a good morning!, I say. What joy!, I say.

And then mom comes. Grim-faced. Tells me to rush to our living room. Damn. The man has fucked my morning, again! His hypnotised followers justifying the dastardly acts. The powers that be turning a blind eye to their very conscience. I know a fucked up morning is a trivial inconvenience.

That man has fucked up people's lives.

“When liberty comes with hands dabbled in blood it is hard to shake hands with her.” - Oscar Wilde

That Irreverent Streak

I think ambition needs a little irreverence. Not insensitivity, but the irreverence and quiet confidence that comes with conviction. Skepticism is Success' fiercest enemy.

Recollect Gurkukant Desai's tiff with a fellow merchant in the cloth market? His inability to paint a larger canvas compelled him to thwart Guru's vision. But that man. What conviction! What self-belief! ... Isn't that what it really takes? Obviously, a lot of other factors come into play. But without a timeless faith in that lil' voice within which says : Hey Anuj, that's your dharma, go live it!... every other thing fails.

So, next time you see irreverence coming at you, ask where it's coming from? It may just not be a frivolous disregard for your thoughts...

Monday, 20 October, 2008


Sometimes, very rarely though, a song comes and penetrates your very soul. Asking why it evokes so much within an otherwise mundane spirit is blasphemous. Zindagi is one such song. Often I have pondered and with much futility on the enigmatic power of music. This song from Rahman's new work of genius (though certainly not his best) is an ode to the pathos of life. This conversational masterpiece sung by Srinivas and penned by Gulzar is one of the my favourite's on the album. Also, Mastam Mastam and Tu Muskura i'd absolutely recommend. For the time being, allow me to gift you this demure classic in the making.

Album Name:Yuvvraaj
Song Name: Zindagi

Zindagi Zindagi, kya kami reh gayi?
Aankh ki kor mein…
Aankh ki kor mein, kyon nami reh gayi?

Zindagi Zindagi, kya kami reh gayi?
Aankh ki kor mein, kyon nami reh gayi?
Tu kahan kho gayi?
Tu kahan kho gayi?

Koi aaya nahin
Do-peher ho gayi
Koi aaya nahin
Zindagi Zindagi

Din aaye, din jaaye
Sadiyaan bhi gin aaye
Sadiyaan re…
Tanhayee lipti hai…
Lipti hai saansoun ki
Rasiya re…
Tere bina badi pyasi hai
Tere bina hai pyasi re
Nainoun ki do saakhiyan re
Tanha re…
Main tanha re

Zindagi Zindagi, kya kami reh gayi?
Aankh ki kor mein, kyon nami reh gayi?
Zindagi Zindagi

Subah ka kohra hai
Sham ki dhool hai
Tanhayee hai
Raat bhi sard hai
Dard hi dard hai
Ruswayee hai
Kaise katein?
Saansein uljhi hain
Raatein badi jhulsi jhulsi hain
Naina, kori sadiyaan re
Tanha re…
Main tanha re

Zindagi Zindagi, kya kami reh gayi?
Aankh ki kor mein, kyon nami reh gayi?
Zindagi Zindagi, kya kami reh gayi?
Aankh ki kor mein, kyon nami reh gayi?

Tu kahan kho gayi?
Koi aaya nahin
Do-peher ho gayi
Koi aaya nahin
Zindagi Zindagi, kya kami reh gayi?
Aankh ki kor mein, kyon nami reh gayi?

Tuesday, 14 October, 2008

I dont know.

I dont know.

Today like everyday i was at the traffic signal. It was very hot today. Not like other days when it is only raining. I was very hungry also. Had not had food since the last night. But thankfully that college girl gave me a chewing gum. Chewing gum is good to eat when you are hungry. It removes the hunger for some time. I told thank you to the girl with a smile. She told me to brush my teeth. I told her – Didi I do but the water only makes the teeth dirty. I dont know. She made some silly face. Some college girls are nice girls. Very often they share their chewing gums and choclates. But then some are dirty. They laugh at me and my friends or say some dirty things. I dont know but when they have some white wire in their ears they dont care about anything in the world. Rama tells me that we can listen to songs and talk to people from that wire. I told her you are stupid or what. And she anyways says lies so I dont know if she was saying the truth. She says that in Mumbai every second person puts wire in their ears. So funny it is. Maybe she is right. I dont know.

Anyways my favourite buble gum was now in my mouth. Strawberry buble gum I really like a lot. And I like how when i bite in the starting the buble gum breaks and all the strawberry juice comes into my mouth. It is just so yummy. I love to feel that. So then when I was having chewing gum for some time that day Satya – my best friend came to me with a big pav vada. The pav vada was the biggest I had seen in my life. The pav looked yummy. It was soft and not rubber. Mostly we get rubber pav when some person feels like giving us food instead of money. I say why give us such food because one time Rama had such a pav vada and she fall sick. For three days her stomach was paining so much. Full night she cried and Satya and I had to beg in the medicene shop to give us tablets. Medicene shop uncle is sweet. He gave choclate for Rama also. But how many times he will do like this? I dont know. So anyway this Satya’s pav was not rubber and i could smell the lasun chutney inside. My mouth was full of spit. It happens when you want to eat something you like a lot or when you eat after long time. Now I had to remove my chewing gum. Satya was telling me to take it quickly because his signal had stopped and he was losing his dhandha. He told me some abuses and put the pav vada in my hand forcingly and ran across the road. Now I was too hungry to eat so I wanted to quickly throw my favourite strawberry buble gum and eat the vada pav. I was anyways eating chewing gum for a long time.

Normally what I do na is if I have not eaten the chewing gum for too much long time then I put the chewing gum back in the paper then eat food and then after sometime I eat it again. This way I dont waste it.

But today was diffrent. When I removed the chewing gum I realised that there was a problem. I had removed the chewing gum but there was no paper to put chewing gum inside and throw it in the dustbin. I was so foolish. My two fingers were now one because of the sticky gum. Now with extra big vada pav in one hand and three useful fingers in the other hand I was crawling on the road to find some paper. Till last week this paper finding job would be very easy because everyone just throws papers from rikshas and bus but since one week BMC has done good job to clean the road. I like it when people dont litter. Lata Di who is my teacher and has taught us drawing and reading and writing and speaking in English and Hindi always tells us to not throw kuchra on the road. Lata Di is a college student who comes to teach us every evening. We learn on the road only. Because she also does not have lots of money to buy a class for us but she has promised to do something about it soon.

She says that I want all of you kids to be Litterate. And she says Litteracy means when you dont throw paper and chewing gum and spit on the road. She says only people who are not educated and who come from dirty homes dirty the city. But I want to study. And become a big person. Lata Di tells me always that Zaheer you are very smart and you will become successful one day but only if you dont put finger in your nose and eat the dirt. I took many days to stop that habit. Really but I used to like the flavour of the semud a lot. She only has told me to write in this notebook everyday so that I will be able to write in correct English after sometime. I really like Lata Di. I want to be litterate so that she is proud of me. So that no one can say I come from a dirty family. So that people think i am educated. So everytime my friends throws something on the road I just start fighting with them. I tell them that do you want to be known as dirty children from dirty families when you become big? Or do you want to be Litterate? I dont know. It just makes me very angry. I dont like it. I dont know.

Anyway after much searching I finally found a paper and threw my chewing gum in the dustbin. Now I was finally going to eat my vada pav. It was so hot but then the vada pav in front of me made me feel nice. Cars like everyday were making the full air full of smoke. And there was so much of noise and traffic. I feel like removing my ears at times for sometime.

Eating my vada pav with a smiling face I was sitting next to the road. I saw many big people and big cars passing by. And then my eyes went to this big long black car. It was a superb car. Full black with silver outline. And the windows were dark and up. It was so long. I could not properly see who was inside. The car was right in front of me. I told to myself that Zaheer you will buy such a car someday. Again I started eating my pav vada when suddenly the window of the car started coming down. It was superb. Inside the car I saw a young man wearing spectacles. He was reading English newspaper. He looked almost like Hritik Roshan. He was eating a banana and reading together. He looked at me and smiled. His body was also great. I told to myself that Zaheer you must study hard and become like this man. Smart and educated. Just then he made a seeti sound to call me. Looking at me from up to down or down to up I dont remember he gave me one big banana. I was very happy. I told him that I want to be like him when I become big. He smiled again.

Then after 1 minute the signal became green. I waved out to him. He did not see I think. After that - what I saw has just made me very upset. I am not getting sleep also. Why did she teach me the wrong thing? Why did she say that it is the most imporant thing? I cannot understand.

He has studied so much and is such a rich person with a big nice car – then why did he throw the banana peel on the road? Why? He is not from a dirty family then why did he throw it? I can still see the yellow peel with black dots on it in my mind. For ten minutes I was only looking at it. My anger was funny today. I did not want to tell him abuses. It was a funny thing.

And as I am writing this I am thinking. I am thinking that people who are educated and are big people do this kind of behaviour then – Why is Litteracy so very important? Is it?

I dont know.

Zaheer Sheikh