Shit Happens.

Today was like any other day. Until that one dreadful moment. Everything was shaping up well. Hot water and lemon did its duty like the soldiers on our war front *Insane metaphor*. The joy on my face transcended into every other action. There was an obvious jaunt in my step. Life was as it should be. Glorious. Until that one dreadful moment. My maid prepared the most delicious lunch. And surprisingly I ate more than my four year old nephew. Until that one dreadful moment. I looked up to the heavens with Sachin as he scored his 40th Test hundred. Watching him play that glorious on-drive to Lee, I thought aloud "Is there anything more joyous than this?". Until that one dreadful moment. Anyway, today unlike any other day - my math accuracy was at an all time high too. When that happens - you simply know that life's good. Until... yes, until that one dreadful moment.

As the voluptious November sun set before my eyes I refrained from switching the lights on. Soaking in all the joy that twilight had to offer, I moved towards the, surprisingly unfinished, lot of Diwali mithais. Kaju Katris and Kaju Puris have traditionally been my favourites. And to retain the decadent consistency of the day I chose not to experiment. Restlessly, in the dying light, I struggled to find the right box. At the bottom of the pile, written in Gujarati in barely legible font, was my treasure trove. Like Gulshan Grover in his rape scenes - I quickly undressed the box. My eyes were gold *metaphor* as I stared at the hordes of uwrapped, glistening Kaju Puris. The sun I saw, from my balcony, was within kissing distance of the horizon. My undressing *unwrapping* skills came to the forefront. In no time - a large, divine, delicious Kaju Puri was sitting in the center of my mouth happily tickling my taste buds. Savouring the taste, I moved towards the window. This was about the time when I took my first bite. And *Crunch* - there it was!

Now *Crunch* was one sound I did not quite associate with Kaju Puris. I was surprised but I gave it the benefit of doubt. I mean you rarely ever analyze why good food is good. It just is. So keeping that golden rule in mind I continued chewing until I reached my next bite. And guess what I heard again? *Crunch*

Something was clearly fishy. I rushed back to examine the box. The light was the kind in which you'd mistake Rakhi Sawant for Rani Mukherjee. But common sense still eluded me. A brand new Kaju Puri was in my hand. I squinted my eyes to see if I could spot some interesting ingredient. It's about the very time when something started tickling me on my arms. Clearly a bad time to start fantasizing hot women I told myself. But the tickling persisted. About time I swtiched on the light, right?
I did.

And holy fuck! ... An army, no a continent full of RED ANTS stared at me from the box. The Kaju Puri in my hand had a few of those fools dancing too. Petrified!, I threw the puri back in the box... my hands swooshing some of the heroes on my arms. "Phew! That was close!", I told myself.

And then came - That One Dreadful Moment. *Crunch* as I bit into the remnants of the original Kaju Puri. The one in my mouth. This is one of those moments when the world laughs at your stupidity, misery and trauma without an iota of guilt. It is also one of those moments when you can't ask them to not laugh at you. I knew Shit Happens. I loved it each time it happened. But now.... I hate metaphors. Especially this one. Because today Shit Happened in a way I never expected.













P.S. :- Anuj was last seen removing fossilized ant bodies from his tongue